Prayer Diary

08/18/2015 Monday

From 10:04-11:59 PM

Last night, when I tried to relate God the Father to me, I had a hard time. Jesus is my good shepherd who told me, “I know you.” Also the Holy Spirit told me who he was, saying, “I am your tutor.” So, I could relate myself to Jesus and to the Holy Spirit. But when I tried to know who God the Father is to me, I had difficulty. So, I prayed to God that He might reveal Himself to me, that I might know Him.

Tonight, as I began my prayer, I could identify God the Father in my life very well. He is the One who chose me, followed me and brought me back to Himself. He is the One who waited patiently when I was going the wrong way, when I was even in sin; He is the One who did not reject me despite my sins; He is the One who watched me while I was doing terrible things, with anguished heart, hoping that I would come back. He is the One who protected me, working behind the scenes. He is the One who quietly embraced me and guided me without giving up. He is the One who was so concerned about my name that, when I wanted to move to Atlanta, He rolled out a red carpet for me, making it clear to everyone that I was going there according to God’s plan, not that I was going there as a failure.

Indeed, He has loved me, and His love for me is like the love of a father for his son; his love is quiet and seamless, like a stream or river that flows steadily all the time – so soothing. I am loved by God the Father, God the Son Jesus my Lord, and God the Holy Spirit. Maybe, I am the happiest person in the whole world; maybe, I am the most beloved person in the whole world.

I prayed to love my family and the church members with God’s love so that all people may come to know God’s love and experience it through me. But as I was thinking about it, I realized that there was a problem – practically, I didn’t know how to love others with God’s love. I am so introverted. So I asked the Holy Spirit how, saying, “I don’t know how to love my family members with God’s love. I don’t know how I should express God’s love to the church members.”

Then, a clear expression came to me: “It is to love with respect.” I immediately knew that the Holy Spirit was showing me how to love others with God’s love: by treating them respectfully. I was so thankful to the Holy Spirit for answering me. Then, I thought about what it meant to love others respectfully. It means to be very careful with my words and actions. It means to pay close attention to their feelings and emotions, and treat them very cautiously. Even if they do something wrong, it means to deal with them very carefully, not casually pointing out their problems, but being very sincere, being very careful that I may not hurt them.

When there is a very respected person who is so great, such a person who is far greater than me in position, I am very careful, so that even if he makes a mistake, I am afraid to point it out; simply, I keep quiet, knowing my position, never thinking that I am worthy to deal with him. That kind of attitude is to show respect. Then, everything became clear about how I must treat my family members – Johnna, Cori, Sarah, and Grace – all respectfully, not saying things at random, but holding my tongue, and using only proper words, treating them as if they are VIPs. Now I know how to love my family members with God’s love.

And exactly in the same way, I know how to love all the church members with God’s love – respectfully, treating them as VIPs, with such caution, being careful in my words and actions. I was thankful and happy for this revelation and direction. At the same time, I realized that that’s how God has loved me, being very careful so that I might not be hurt in my feelings and emotions even when I was going astray, often keeping quiet even when I was doing terrible things, being mindful of my pride, my name… God is love. His love is amazing. He treats me, even me, so respectfully as if I am really somebody to the Almighty God.

Who can imagine this? I love you, Lord, with all my heart and soul and mind. I love you, Lord. Now I know how I must love you – I must love you showing utmost respect; I must love you with deep respect. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for your love for me. This prayer time was such a blessing to me. I am satisfied.